stair steps.

my five little stair steps that have changed my life forever.
seriously. in love with this picture.
and with these steps.
blessed.

so, berry, excited.

see them.

do you?

look closely.

and you'll see...

some super yummy {to be}

strawberries.

i'm so excited!

last year at the advice of an "expert" we were told to pick the flowers and the berries will be better this year.

 i can.not.wait!! :)

sprinkler fun

this past weekend it was super nice out. like, really super nice.we have the sprinkler for our strawberries, and decided that it would be fun to set it up for the kids to run through. it was actually the first time we've ever set it up for them. it goes without saying...they loved it. and i loved it. i loved seeing their smiles. and their excitement. and hearing their laughs and giggles. and snapped a few...or a hundred...not even kidding...pictures. hope you enjoy them...

13 years.

13 years ago today. at 1:00 am. i was asked a question that changed my life in the moment.
and changed my life forever.
it was "will you go out with me?"
clearly i said, YES!!
a few weeks before he asked me out, we had our first date at prom...

little did i know the tree i fell in love with on this day, would be my most favorite tree at my house TODAY. 

this is my most favorite picture of us after we were "dating". 

 and then some years later...we were engaged. here is one of my favorite engagement pictures.

 and four and a half years after i said yes...i said, I DO!!

 and 13 years later after i said yes, i said (and say)....i'm SO BLESSED!!

happy {dating} anniversary, baby! 

i love you.

forever.

and always.

and a few days after that.

these kids.

i love these kids.

can i be honest and say...i love that they are "posing" more for pictures!! lol. i can't wait to get them in photo-shoot mode and get some even cuter ones. and even with my CAMERA, not my phone. lol.

on hard days. on easy days. on every day. i'm so thankful for these blessings.
the joy. the tears. the everything. i'm so thankful for these blessings.
the unconditional love they give that i don't deserve.
the forgiveness they give when i screw up.
every smile. every hug. i'm so thankful for these blessings.

wordless wednesday.

on mother's day i actually remembered my camera. and actually got a picture with it. we haven't had a family picture taken since...probably Christmas. so i was excited to get one.

i'm one blessed wife and momma!!

loved.

the other week i was really have a hard week. i expressed it to shaun, which is huge for me! i usually wait for him to come to me if he sees something wrong. i took the step to talk to him because i knew it would help.

the next morning i found this on the cupboard for me...

it's a sweet encouraging note from shaun. he typically doesn't have a ton of time in the morning, so that he took the time to write me a note...blessed me to tears. it was a very encouraging note and is really what i needed after the days i had been having. i'll admit, i took a picture of it and posted it on facebook. 

when shaun got home he said, i see you were showing me off again...i smiled and said, YES I WAS! 

i really didn't think of it as "showing off", but as sharing how blessed i am. blessed more than i deserve with a husband who puts up with me. i know i can be difficult at times, yet he continues to put up with it. 

for years before i ever met shaun i struggled with feeling loved. i knew people loved me, but didn't understand why. or the people who seemed to love me, "had" to because they were my family. i'm not sure where these feelings ever came from. but they're a huge struggle. shaun was the first boy who ever stuck with me through things, when he didn't "have" to. he stayed out past curfew, because he knew something was bugging me and i needed to talk. ((that was "the" night i knew, he was "the one". and it was only a few months into our relationship))

shaun showed me human unconditional love in a way i never knew possible. then i was introduced to Jesus...and well my life was forever changed. because for the first time in my life i was shown the relationship aspect of Jesus Christ. i needed to repent from my sins and turn away from them and to start a relationship with the Lord. and then allow Him to work in my life and to follow what He had for my life. 

was it an instant "change". absolutely not. i don't have a "radical" testimony. i just have a testimony of someone who felt super unloved. met a boy who showed me love. and met a Savior who showed me the ultimate love. 

if i said i didn't struggle with these feelings still, i'd be lying. it goes in waves. but sometimes i find myself wondering why anyone would want to hang out with me. i honestly am not writing this to be told, OH YOU ARE SO COOL! i'm just trying to be real, and by being real...it's sharing what i feel. real things. 

online you can come across however you choose to really. i try to be as "real" as possible. although...i know i'm way more "open" here than i am in real life. i will spill my heart to you in real life, but you generally have to know what to ask/talk about before that happens. i won't just spill it on you, without some prodding. i think i'm more "open" here because i don't have to see you reading it. or see your reaction. i can say that "i don't care what you think" and really truly mean it. but it's harder to "mean it" in person, when you can see what the other person thinks. i guess it's easier to be hurt in person, so i hide behind the screen a little bit in that aspect. 

but praise God, because i'm growing. i know that it isn't okay to hold everything in, and i haven't been near as much as i used to. so it's really a good thing! :) i also know that i'm important. it's hard to remember, or understand sometimes. but i'm so thankful for the Lord and His relationship with me...and for the fantastic friends that He has blessed me with, and make me realize...i am a little cool. :)